Cold and flu season is the scariest part of the year.
Newborn clothes look huge.
Seeing full term pregnant women at the grocery store makes you wish you could have been that big.
Hearing women complain about "being uncomfortable at 36 weeks" makes you cringe. You would have given your left arm just to make it that far.
You found out what it feels like to leave your heart at a hospital because that's what it feels like when you walk out without your baby, day after day.
People don't know whether to tell you congratulations or I'm sorry and you honestly don't know which one you want to hear.
You look at a teeny, tiny baby with tubes and wires and wonder what you could have done to keep her in longer.
Your baby finally comes home from the NICU but you aren't sure she is ready to be home.
You cry over spilled breastmilk.
You have gotten a call at 3 am that your baby forgot to breathe for 60 seconds. The call only happened once but you relive it in your nightmares.
Your baby's biggest milestone - getting to sleep in a normal crib.
Jaundice is scary in a full term baby. When your preemie has it, you barely notice because there are so many bigger issues.
You take hundreds of photographs of your baby getting their first bottle, at 3 weeks old.
All your dreams of a natural delivery disappear and all you care about it getting your baby here safely.
Your only real delivery room memory is the silence that comes over every doctor, nurse, and family member as the baby will be born. They are all waiting to see if she will cry.
Most women deliver with a few family members, a midwife or doctor, and a nurse or two. You deliver with 4 doctors, about 10 nurses, a respiratory team, a NICU transport team and your family sits in the corner just watching the chaos.
You have watched a miracle grow.
