Proud Mommy Moment

I prepared a tray of healthy snacks for the kids and set it on their table. This way, I would not have to lift them into their highchairs. I'm not supposed to do that because of my picc line. I told Eli to "share with sissy" because sometimes he hogs all the snacks. Eli proceeded to take a cup off the tray and put a small amount of each food in it and hand it to his sister. He might just be 2 but we are getting somewhere with the sharing concept.

Happy Valentine's Day from my family to yours!

After you have a preemie...

Cold and flu season is the scariest part of the year.

Newborn clothes look huge.

Seeing full term pregnant women at the grocery store makes you wish you could have been that big.
Hearing women complain about "being uncomfortable at 36 weeks" makes you cringe. You would have given your left arm just to make it that far.

You found out what it feels like to leave your heart at a hospital because that's what it feels like when you walk out without your baby, day after day.

People don't know whether to tell you congratulations or I'm sorry and you honestly don't know which one you want to hear.

You look at a teeny, tiny baby with tubes and wires and wonder what you could have done to keep her in longer.

Your baby finally comes home from the NICU but you aren't sure she is ready to be home.

You cry over spilled breastmilk.

You have gotten a call at 3 am that your baby forgot to breathe for 60 seconds. The call only happened once but you relive it in your nightmares.

Your baby's biggest milestone - getting to sleep in a normal crib.

Jaundice is scary in a full term baby. When your preemie has it, you barely notice because there are so many bigger issues.

You take hundreds of photographs of your baby getting their first bottle, at 3 weeks old.

All your dreams of a natural delivery disappear and all you care about it getting your baby here safely.

Your only real delivery room memory is the silence that comes over every doctor, nurse, and family member as the baby will be born. They are all waiting to see if she will cry.

Most women deliver with a few family members, a midwife or doctor, and a nurse or two. You deliver with 4 doctors, about 10 nurses, a respiratory team, a NICU transport team and your family sits in the corner just watching the chaos.

You have watched a miracle grow.

There's nothing half so pleasant as coming home again. -Margaret Sangster

I am finally home from the hospital. Who knew six days could be so long? I had to be woken up 3-4 times a night for blood draws, medicine, and PICC line flushes. Many of my nurses were also my nurses when I was in the hospital after my water had broken with Evelyn. I was there two weeks trying to prevent labor as long as possible. Some nurses were great, some not so much unfortunately. The hardest part was not seeing my kids. Eli brought the phone to my mom while she was watching him so that he could call me.  Bottom line, everything about being hospitalized sucks.
My zofran pump is going to be run through my PICC line now along with IV hydration. Overall, I feel a lot better now that I am home. There is a lot to be said for being comfortable and how that reflects on your overall health.

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry -Robert Burns

I went into my perinatologist appointment with a written list of questions for my doctor and an idea of what I wanted to take place to make it from day to day. Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans.
Good news first:
I had an ultrasound of the baby. I already had an idea of the gender. The tech at my OB's office was 85% sure. The machines at the perinatologist's office are better quality so just for fun, I asked her to check the gender of the baby. This pregnancy has been so difficult, emotionally and physically that I try to find little glimmers of hope to become excited about. The baby was very active throughout the ultrasound which is always neat to observe.
And drumroll please....
IT'S A BOY!!
I are beyond excited to have 2 boys and one little princess to dress up.
The not so good news:
The perinatologist is not happy with my weight and considers me to be malnourished. He admitted me to the hospital and I will he here for 3 days. My veins are so damaged from having IVs blow that a PICC line had to be placed. The placement of the PICC line was a bit painful and now my arm is pretty sore after the lidocaine wore off. This line will make life a lot easier on a daily basis because a nurse won't have to be scheduled to come out to my apartment every day. It is really hard to wrangle two toddlers while getting an IV put in. I am now getting nutrients and a few medications through my PICC line.
This is definitely tough. I am having to choose between my children- the one that hasn't been born yet and the two that already need me. Watching them walk out of the hospital room to go home with GiGi made me cry. I miss them already but in three or so days when I get discharged, I should be able to be a better mommy.

The circus has come to town..

The Ringmaster
That would be me, Sarah, but mostly known as Mommy or Mama depending on which kid you ask. I keep the show moving. I keep the cast (human and animal) fed, clean, dressed and rested. Every now and then I get to take care of myself too.


The Clown

Eli keeps everyone on their toes with a smile on their faces.

The Mime

Evelyn is a professional mime. She is currently mute, by choice. Occasionally she says no, if the elaborate foot stomping didn't get the point across.

Coming Soon!
The newest member of our cast has a debut performance on July 24, 2012 but our cast is always so excited to join in on the fun that they always show up early!

And the animals..

Sophie

A West Highland White Terrier full of spunk, sass and attitude!

Zoe

A Pointer mix rescued from very sad circumstances. She now gets to have fun every day!


Louie

A Lutino Cockatiel with an excellent singing voice and a slight personality disorder. He thinks he is a security system.


Piper

A Pearl Cockatiel with quite the little attitude but enough love and affection to make up for it.